This article is inspired by David Firestone’s article in the New York Times entitled “Boehner’s Last Stand.” Firestone’s lead is the key:
“The nature of Speaker John Boehner’s final battle with the White House on the budget crisis is now clear: It doesn’t matter what House Republicans win in exchange for raising the debt ceiling and re-opening government, as long as they win something.”
I write to propose an award a grateful nation should immediately bestow on Boehner in a national ceremony broadcast live on every media outlet from the White House’s Rose Garden – The Winner’s Trophy. It should be in the form of a Boehner-sized weeping angel bearing the following inscription:
“You are the courageous leader who brought us out of this crisis. You are the leader devoid of partisanship who saved the nation from socialism and insolvency. You are the leader who put the interest of our nation ahead of self-interest and made America a role model for the world. We should apologize for any criticisms we ever made of you.
You are The Winner.”
I do not think it would dilute the honor unduly if we were to create replica trophies for Senator Ted Cruz and Representative Paul Ryan with the same inscription. They surely deserve to have their contribution to our Nation’s international reputation recognized in tangible form. Ryan’s trophy can be graced by an illusionist sawing a budget in half. Given Cruz’ name, only a cross is fitting to grace his trophy. It can represent the time our economy and people have spent on the cross suffering.
Some readers may find the inscription inappropriate, but all will be made clear when Billy Crystal reads the inscription at the award ceremony.
“You are the courageous leader who brought us out of this crisis? You are the leader devoid of partisanship who saved the nation from socialism and insolvency? You are the leader who put the interest of our nation ahead of self-interest and made America a role model for the world? We should apologize for any criticisms we ever made of you?
You are The Winner?”
And yes, this is a steal from Leo Rosten’s The Joys of Yiddish, where a worker explains to Comrade Stalin how to read a cablegram from Comrade Trotsky correctly.
The humour would be completely lost on the tea party whose average IQ seems below 60.
Your humour is too sophisticated for the tea party.
Your humour is too sophisticated for those who might learn from it.
All the trophies must be made of gold, or at least gold plated.
Perhaps a likeness of William Jennings Bryant should be nailed to Ted’s prize.
They would just have them bronzed.
Like their shoes?
If you want to get the nuances of Bill’s message, see here:
John Boehner washed out of US Navy boot camp, or basic training, back in 1968. When submediocrity is consistently awarded, we end up with situations such as this. [FYI: Prior to the complete fabrication of George W. Bush’s “military record” just prior to his run for governor of Texas, his actual record read that he washed out of USAF enlisted basic training at the halfway mark (4 weeks), although he miraculously returned home to Houston where his daddy pinned officer’s bars on his uniform? (And there are those who still claim the USA is not a banana republic?) In other words, Bush never attended Officers Training School (OTS) nor Flight School.]
Sorry but Tea-Party types prefer temper tantrums to humor.
(Hat tip to Nancy Pelosi’s “$24 billion Temper Tantrum” comment. And so true if you know any of them!)